What I have learned so far.....
I thought maybe I should write a little about what I have learned in the past 4 months... Most of this I (we) have had to learn on our own, so I just thought that I would share my view of motherhood so far...
1. Sometimes things that should happen naturally don't. (And this is ok). I don't think I have really touched on this here.... Naturally when a woman gives birth, milk arrives and she is able to feed her child. Well this did not naturally happen for me. My milk did not come in, medication did not help (maybe I did not try long enough?!), and I felt so defeated and extremely guilty. It is easy for someone who has not gone through this to kind of shrug it off, it is not until you experience it yourself that you truly understand the horrible gut wrenching guilt that goes along with not being able to breast feed your child.... Still to this day I struggle sometimes, but luckily it is not as bad as it used to be.
2. The first two weeks after birth are the HARDEST two weeks you will endure, bu it does get better, much much better.... Always have in the back of your mind----- this too shall pass.
3. You really don't have the answers....(And this is ok too!) typically I am confident in my world, I have answers for everything, I can fix problems/situations, this is who I am. But once you become a mother and definitely for the first time, you HAVE NO IDEA about anything. You don't know what you should do, how you should do it, and when you should. Everyday is a HUGE learning process.. What I have learned here is ALWAYS listen to your gut when it comes to your child.. ALWAYS!
4. There are a few things you should not take for granted (that we all do) before having a child. Most importantly, sleep.... You lose sleep and your sanity, but it truly does get better as time goes on.. Another thing, showers/baths... I have had 1 bath since Owie was born... How I miss those, but it is also my fault as I don't make "time" for them.... Showers, well I shower on a regular basis (thank heavens) but I ALWAYS feel rushed. Owie will sit contently in his bouncy chair while I shower, but it is soo not the same..
Sex, well enough said.... Oh and one more thing... Eating.... Seriously, enjoy every meal, take the time to savor every bite because once a mom, you become the biggest baddest "shoveler" there is. I can eat a full plate of food in under 5 min... Horrible, horrible, and there is no enjoyment in eating anymore.....
5. Never ever compare your child to others.. This is hard sometimes, but you will remain more sane if you can stay away from comparing...
6. Things have changed over the generations.. What used to be ok say 30 years ago is not the same as today. So when those individuals from different generations give you "back in the day we did this...." listen, acknowledge, smile, and move on.....
7. Everybody knows how to parent your child....
8. You definitely lose track of time. Sometimes days are LONG, but weeks are short...
9. Dr. Google is honestly your worst enemy....
10. You forget how to interact with adults, and you develop great anxiety around conversations at times...
11. Your body is forever changed (this is totally ok too, apparently.....) I am in no way a vain person, but this has been really challenging for me...
12. You spend a lot of time doing what may seem to be nothing, but you don't have time to do anything!!
13. You can not be angry or in a real pissy mood when your baby looks deep into your eyes, smiles and goos and gaas... Seriously..
14. You have never ever known such a love until you have a child...
And one last thing..... It is ok to ask for help... This is where I struggle the most.. But that is ok, I am learning....
But the most important thing I have learned so far is that no matter what, it is all worth it!!
1. Sometimes things that should happen naturally don't. (And this is ok). I don't think I have really touched on this here.... Naturally when a woman gives birth, milk arrives and she is able to feed her child. Well this did not naturally happen for me. My milk did not come in, medication did not help (maybe I did not try long enough?!), and I felt so defeated and extremely guilty. It is easy for someone who has not gone through this to kind of shrug it off, it is not until you experience it yourself that you truly understand the horrible gut wrenching guilt that goes along with not being able to breast feed your child.... Still to this day I struggle sometimes, but luckily it is not as bad as it used to be.
2. The first two weeks after birth are the HARDEST two weeks you will endure, bu it does get better, much much better.... Always have in the back of your mind----- this too shall pass.
3. You really don't have the answers....(And this is ok too!) typically I am confident in my world, I have answers for everything, I can fix problems/situations, this is who I am. But once you become a mother and definitely for the first time, you HAVE NO IDEA about anything. You don't know what you should do, how you should do it, and when you should. Everyday is a HUGE learning process.. What I have learned here is ALWAYS listen to your gut when it comes to your child.. ALWAYS!
4. There are a few things you should not take for granted (that we all do) before having a child. Most importantly, sleep.... You lose sleep and your sanity, but it truly does get better as time goes on.. Another thing, showers/baths... I have had 1 bath since Owie was born... How I miss those, but it is also my fault as I don't make "time" for them.... Showers, well I shower on a regular basis (thank heavens) but I ALWAYS feel rushed. Owie will sit contently in his bouncy chair while I shower, but it is soo not the same..
Sex, well enough said.... Oh and one more thing... Eating.... Seriously, enjoy every meal, take the time to savor every bite because once a mom, you become the biggest baddest "shoveler" there is. I can eat a full plate of food in under 5 min... Horrible, horrible, and there is no enjoyment in eating anymore.....
5. Never ever compare your child to others.. This is hard sometimes, but you will remain more sane if you can stay away from comparing...
6. Things have changed over the generations.. What used to be ok say 30 years ago is not the same as today. So when those individuals from different generations give you "back in the day we did this...." listen, acknowledge, smile, and move on.....
7. Everybody knows how to parent your child....
8. You definitely lose track of time. Sometimes days are LONG, but weeks are short...
9. Dr. Google is honestly your worst enemy....
10. You forget how to interact with adults, and you develop great anxiety around conversations at times...
11. Your body is forever changed (this is totally ok too, apparently.....) I am in no way a vain person, but this has been really challenging for me...
12. You spend a lot of time doing what may seem to be nothing, but you don't have time to do anything!!
13. You can not be angry or in a real pissy mood when your baby looks deep into your eyes, smiles and goos and gaas... Seriously..
14. You have never ever known such a love until you have a child...
And one last thing..... It is ok to ask for help... This is where I struggle the most.. But that is ok, I am learning....
But the most important thing I have learned so far is that no matter what, it is all worth it!!
Comments
"12. You spend a lot of time doing what may seem to be nothing, but you don't have time to do anything!" - so true!!
Time goes so quickly yet so slowly. It is a very strange thing.
Enjoy him which I know you and Andrew are. It will be a long time but a short time and then they are grown. I am still crying so am going to close my speech on parenthood. You are tremendous.
Love Jinny