21 Weeks and a Fond Farewell.......

Well, The day I reached 21 weeks, was the day my sister passed away. Bittersweet day that was... I received a call in the morning, letting me know that they say it will be a few days.... I asked if I should go to the hospital, I was then asked if "I needed" to, as in if I needed to say my good byes, and such, I said no, because for me, I already had......... My brother-in-law suggested that if I did not need to be there, then I shouldn't as it is really hard to see her the way she was struggling....  I made the decision not to go. I am completely fine and content with that decision, as my last memories of my sister was of the week prior..... I went to see her on the Monday.. I had not seen her since Christmas time, very long over due, however every time I did plan on visiting with her I always ended up cancelling as I was sick or not feeling well, and really, I would not have gone to see her even if I had a runny nose... With her being so ill, I did not want to take any chances.......


I went to visit with her.... The joy and excitement on her face was priceless when I arrived... I know that she was happy to see me, but the joy for her was to see my growing belly......  I stood there for (who knows how long) and just let her rub my stomach......  It was such a change in atmosphere, she was happy, excited, and forgot for just a moment about all the crap she was going through.........  Every person who came into the room she told that I was going to have a baby, few nurses, the lady in the other bed......  It was really great to see....  To see the happiness on her face in which I had not seen in such a LONG time........


She had a long struggle, battle, fight of her life.... She did the best she could, she hung on for as long as she could, she never gave up........   That is the way to live life........


I have posted this picture of her before on my blog, but this is my most favourite picture of her that I need to post it again........

"You can shed tears that she is gone,

or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,

or you can open your eyes and see all that she's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,

Or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her only that she is gone,

Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,

Be empty and turn your back.

Or you can do what she'd want:

Smile, open your eyes, love, and go on."